House Hunting In Hueco Mundo
by Queen Yanna
Summary: Ichigo and co. have decided to settle down in the city of Las Noches. This is a sequel of sorts to "A Quiet Day In Las Noches"
1. Prologue

**House Hunting in Hueco Mundo**

Following the defeat of Sousuke Aizen and the subsequent founding of the city of Las Noches, the former Espada had a lot of time on their hands. Because Las Noches is a big city, there was too much space for them to rule in one place, so each Espada had their own district, named after their former rank.

When Ichigo and his harem wanted to move to Las Noches, they hired a realtor to show them each district. These are their adventures.


	2. Primera District

**Primera District**

The Primera district was on the north side of the city, along with the other suburbs, and was actually pretty nice. Ichigo thought that he might choose to settle down here. It seemed that Starrk had a fondness for ranch-style houses with lots of stucco. The artificial sun was shining, and little hollow children were playing around in the street.

Ichigo, Chad, Ishida, Rukia, Renji, Orihime, and Tesla, the realtor, were walking along one of the wide sidewalks, built for a hollow's bulk.

Renji whistled. "For a hollow city, this is actually pretty nice." He had his hands in his pockets, his red hair down over his shoulders. He was out of his normal shinigami uniform, and was instead wearing the same outfit that he wore during the beginning of the unspeakable times when he went to Ichigo's school.

"You mean the Bount arc?" asked Ichigo.

I said it was unspeakable!

Moving on.

Ishida, who was skeptical about this whole venture, couldn't help but agree. The Primera district had this quiet atmosphere that encouraged laziness and relaxation, perfect for a vacation home.

"I'll admit, it is pretty nice. I feel like going to sleep on one of the benches though. It's so quiet and relaxing…" Ichigo trailed off as he tipped over onto the ground with a snore. Ishida, Renji, and Orihime followed. Chad just kind of stood there with that eternal dazed look on his face.

Rukia, the only person not totally effected by the last atmosphere, looked away, pretending she didn't know these people. As she turned around, she noticed a lot of other hollows and arrancars spread out on the ground, the road, roofs of houses, in trees, porches…They were all in states of various activities. The kids who were playing earlier had dropped to the ground, one with the skull they were using as a ball in its hands.

Rukia sweat dropped, and moved ahead of the passed out guys on the sidewalk to Tesla, who looked eternally nervous.

She tapped him on the shoulder. He screeched, waking up the boys and Orihime behind her. They all looked totally really disoriented, like they had no idea how they got there. Rukia had to fight to keep a straight face at the drool stain on Ishida's shirt from Renji resting his head on his chest.

"Hey, what's wrong with everyone here? Why is everyone sleeping?" she asked, not even a little concerned about Ichigo moaning in pain about his head, which he hit pretty hard on the sidewalk when he passed out.

Tesla rubbed the back of his neck. "Starrk-sama always complained about not getting enough sleep before the revolution, so when he was building his district, he got Szayel to place little machines around the houses that give out electronic pulses to make you sleepy," he said, ended his sentence with a yawn.

"Yeah, no. Come on guys, I wanna go to the Chappy gift shop at the border to the Tercera District."


	3. Segunda District

**Segunda District**

As Tesla led the group to the border/toll-booth in between the Primera and Segunda districts, Ichigo couldn't help but notice the many posters proclaiming that "Lord Baraggan Wants You! (To serve as his eternal slave)" on the walls of the many uniform gray buildings.

He couldn't help but ask. "What's with all the flagrant propaganda? And who's Lord Baraggan?"

Tesla looked even more panicked at the sound of two different footsteps rushing towards them. Soon two very different-looking arrancar came into view.

One was a small, petit-looking, very androgynous male with chin-length scruffy black hair in the front and a braid in the back, and gold eyes. To the audience over the fourth wall, his saber-tooth tiger's mask on top of his head identified him as Ggio Vega.

The other arrancar made Ichigo want to claw out his eyes. This guy looked like a typical drag queen, with his bulky body, long, purple hair, make-up, and floor-length dress (Ichigo couldn't help but think that Ggio would look much better in it). The audience identifies him as Charlotte Chuhlhourne over the sounds of vomiting off-stage.

"Who is Lord Baraggan?" Ggio asked, totally scandalized. Charlotte's hand came up to cover his gasp.

"How could you not know of the beauty, greatness, and godliness of the king of Hueco Mundo?" Charlotte yelled.

"He is the most wonderful person ever! He is the savior, he is our master!" Ggio preached, his crazy-eyes freaking out most of the group (Ichigo figured he could work this guy into the Kurosaki ClusterFuck™ if he could just get into that S&M thing. The rest of them wanted to get as far away as possible).

Tesla put his hands out in a pleading gesture, looking like he was about to faint. "Don't worry about them, I'm just showing them each district so they can look for a house."

Charlotte lit up. "Well, if it's these wonder, fantastic, bishounens, I wouldn't mind helping them find out the greatness of Lord Baraggan." He said, directing an air-kiss to the group. Renji ran off to the side and vomited, Ichigo fainted, Ishida looked like he was about to poke his eye out with one of his sewing needles, and Chad gained a faint green shade to his skin.

Rukia decided to make an executive decision. "Tesla, why don't we come back here tomorrow (meaning never)? The others look a little tired." She pointed behind her where Orihime was trying to get everyone under her shield and reject the image from their eyes. It wasn't working.

Tesla looked relieved, and began leading them in the direction of their hotel in the center of the city, where everything was neutral.

While everyone else was walking as fast as possible to get away, Ichigo turned back and gave Ggio a 'call-me' sign with his fingers.


End file.
